the plunge

i did it
i took the plunge
overcame one of my deepest fears
it's day 4 post surgery
and clarity is finally creeping in
it was a bumpy ride

it begins...
i'm self-immobilized
tape is holding down my left lid
trying my best to stare at a fuzzy red light on the ceiling through my right
something like an electric toothbrush comes in and things become hazy
only the slightest twinge of what i'd best describe as a scratchy feeling
two blue lights enter the scene from my peripheral
the red light's now turning green, blue, white
a smell of burnt tissue
a glassy "dish" is smudged over top but i feel nothing
and i see nothing for a brief moment
but in that moment, all my fears are mounting
i'm holding my breath, barely having time for all the worst thoughts to rush in
and then a cold flush of refreshing water flows over
i see a glimpse of clarity
just before it all begins for the other side

in minutes, it's all over
things are clearer but fuzzy

now, i'm waiting for the miracles of the human body
and the strengths of the human spirit
to heal